ONCE UPON A TIME

last time i checked, having soft blankie on my head and chit chatting with annie tarwater was one of my past times. dont hate. i'm not gonna lie, today's weather was beautiful.

but aside from that.

i would really like to go back to the city and just be. it's not home here, susan is always sniffin on me cos she smells cigarettes and keith finds something to complain about every 2 feet i walk. nick is the one im getting along with, who would have thought. its probably 55 outside but 95 in my room. shits screwed up.

my throat hurts from screaming

thanks, alex moss.

its breezy out. im covered in cuts, bruises and dirt. im too exhausted to shower. if things are going to continue to get worse then ill at least get on my hands and my knees that i will come to the eye of the storm soon. it would be nice to rest. it would be lovely to be okay, if just for a little while.

i don't want to be here right now. what i need isn't obtainable. i wish i could find somewhere, someone, that feels like home.

city last night was real good.

i dont wanna be down anymore. i want to feel good all the time. i dont think that's too much to ask.

ive been feeling very strange lately.

i would love to go on a huge rant about how im feeling like people don't appreciate me. but since i am trapped in my own body and cant rise out of it to get a better look at the situation, i can't tell if i'm doing anything wrong. i'd like to think im a good friend, a really good friend actually, to those people i consider my REAL best friends. but i guess i'm not or something because i don't feel that they love me as much as i love them or something. i don't know, the whole thing is twisted.

i also become more and more disgusted by my body and the way i look everyday. ha what a typical girl thing to say but it's true. and i've been eating healthy and i haven't lost one god damn pound so whatever. it literally makes me want to puke. SICKSICKSICK

what i want never really has mattered.

youre an asshole and i hate being forced to spend time with you.

ICK